Koden-Gaeshi Calculator (Funeral Return Gift Amount)
Enter the koden (condolence money) amount you received to instantly calculate the customary half-return (koden-gaeshi) amount, an item price range, and the recommended shipping deadline after kiake.
Koden-gaeshi reference table by amount received
| Koden amount received | Half-return estimate | Estimated item price range |
|---|---|---|
| 3,000yen | 1,500yen | 1,300〜1,700yen |
| 5,000yen | 2,500yen | 2,200〜2,800yen |
| 10,000yen | 5,000yen | 4,500〜5,500yen |
| 30,000yen | 15,000yen | 13,500〜16,500yen |
| 50,000yen | 25,000yen | 22,500〜27,500yen |
| 100,000yen | 50,000yen | 45,000〜55,000yen |
| 300,000yen | 150,000yen | 135,000〜165,000yen |
| 500,000yen | 250,000yen | 225,000〜275,000yen |
What is a koden-gaeshi calculator?
Koden-gaeshi (香典返し) is the return gift a bereaved family gives as thanks for the koden (香典, condolence money) received at a wake or funeral. There is no fixed rule for the amount, but the most common custom nationwide is the "half-return" (半返し, han-gaeshi) — giving a gift worth about half of the koden received. In some regions, or depending on the relationship with the deceased, a return of around 1/3 is also common, so the guideline has some range.
This tool takes the koden amount you received and instantly calculates the half-return estimate, the 1/3 estimate for larger amounts, and a typical item price range such as those used for catalog gifts. If you also enter the date of death, it shows the kiake (忌明け, the end of the 49-day mourning period) date that serves as the benchmark for sending the return gift, along with the recommended shipping deadline of within one month after that.
How to use the koden-gaeshi calculator
- Enter the koden amount received Enter the actual amount you received as-is.
- Enter the date of death (optional) If you also want to check the shipping deadline, select the date of death from the calendar.
- Review the estimate and shipping deadline The half-return estimate, item price range, and recommended shipping deadline after kiake are displayed.
Tips for getting more out of it
- If the amount is large (roughly 100,000 yen or more), a return of about 1/3 is not considered impolite even without a strict half-return. This is because a large koden amount is often understood as support toward the bereaved family's living expenses.
- It is common etiquette to choose a "kiemono" (消えもの, something consumable) — food, drinks, detergent, or towels are typical choices. Items associated with celebratory occasions, such as tea, nori (dried seaweed), or towels, are popular standard picks.
- When koden is received jointly from a company or a group of names, many people choose an item that is easy to divide among everyone and adjust to the amount, such as individually wrapped sweets.
- It is customary to include a thank-you letter with the koden-gaeshi, reporting that the kiake mourning period has ended and expressing gratitude.
When the koden-gaeshi calculator helps
Setting a budget before choosing a return gift
Get the item price range from the half-return estimate first, then use it as a budget guide when choosing from a catalog gift or specialty store.
Avoiding a missed koden-gaeshi shipping date
Entering the date of death shows the recommended shipping deadline after kiake, so you never miss the right timing to send it.
Deciding how to respond to a large koden amount
When you have received a large koden of 100,000 yen or more, use this as a reference for deciding between a half-return and a 1/3 return.
Koden-gaeshi terms explained
- Koden-gaeshi (香典返し)
- The return gift a bereaved family gives as thanks for the koden received at a wake or funeral. It is customary to send it after kiake.
- Han-gaeshi (半返し, half-return)
- The most common nationwide custom for koden-gaeshi, in which the return gift is worth about half of the koden amount received.
- Kiake (忌明け)
- The end of the mourning period. In Buddhist tradition this generally refers to the 49th day after the date of death. It is customary to send the koden-gaeshi after kiake.
- Kiemono (消えもの)
- A consumable item — food, drinks, detergent, or towels — that disappears once used. Choosing this type of gift is considered good manners for koden-gaeshi.
- Kaiso onrei (会葬御礼)
- A small gift handed out on the day of the wake or funeral to thank attendees for coming, regardless of whether they gave koden. It is distinct from koden-gaeshi.
Frequently asked questions
Side Note — since when has "half-return" been the standard?
The custom of setting the koden-gaeshi amount at "half-return" is actually one where notable regional differences still remain. Half-return is widely established in the greater Tokyo area, but in some regions, including Hokkaido, a different custom called "sokujitsu-gaeshi" (即日返し, same-day return) remains strong, where a fixed-value return gift is handed over on the spot at the wake or funeral, in exchange for the koden.
The idea of half-return itself is said to originate from a long-standing custom in Japanese gift-giving culture, in which returning about half of what was received is considered proper etiquette. Since the same term "half-return" is also used for return gifts at weddings and childbirth celebrations, it appears to be a concept shared across Japanese gift-giving culture generally, not limited to funeral customs.
The custom of waiting until kiake to send the koden-gaeshi is closely tied to the Buddhist 49th-day memorial service. The 49th day is considered an important day when the deceased's soul is believed to reach its destination, and sending a gesture of gratitude to those who attended once this memorial service is completed and the bereaved family reaches a sense of closure carries meaning of its own.